Be prepared

So, Mike and I are going on a cruise in September. To Alaska. (Don’t worry, Sarah Palin, I’m not coming for you, as long as you stay out of my way. Otherwise, you’re polar bear food, missy.) We’ll be sailing for seven delightful days from Seattle along the Inside Passage (which sounds vaguely dirty) and taking in as many breathtaking scenes of natural beauty before global climate change melts all the glaciers and turns everything to crap.

It’s going to be fun!

There’s just one thing. It’s, well, it’s one of those gay cruises, and apparently, that means one thing: themed costume nights. Anyone who knows me even remotely will realize that I do not do costumes. I certainly don’t do them well, which is why I choose not to do them at all. According to our friend Mikey, who will also be on this cruise, we can expect to catch flak for this and be asked frequently, “Where’s your costume?” Since I like to be prepared for any eventuality, I’ve taken the liberty of preparing some stock answers for us.

“Where’s your costume?”
“I’m gonna be wearing a skin suit made out of you if you don’t step off.”

“Where’s your costume?”
“I don’t have one. Where’s your self-respect? Oh, wait.”

“Where’s your costume?”
“Have you seen our stateroom? It’s the size of a closet. We packed clothes we were planning to wear longer than three hours.”

“Where’s your costume?”
(in unison) “We stopped playing dress-up when we were five.”

We’re just going to be the life of the party!

3 thoughts on “Be prepared

  1. Yeah…I’m not one for dressing up either, but damn if I don’t make a kick-ass door decoration. Wins me a bottle of bubbly every trip. I think you and Mikey should take one of Pua’s Fatabulous Door Decs on your trip with you. 🙂

    • Perfect!

      “Where’s your costume?”
      “It’s hanging on our door–and your bloody corpse is going to become part of it if you don’t stop asking me that damn question.”

  2. I’m not thinking that we’re going to win any popularity contests. Still … if they wanna start it, we’ll end it! 😉 Can’t wait!

    I wonder if a “Pua Door Dec” takes up a lot of space? We might need more luggage. he he.

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