Today is my niece Sam’s high school graduation. We’re all really looking forward to the outdoor event in the middle of the afternoon, when the temperature is supposed to hit 92 degrees. With 70 percent humidity.
I think it crossed everyone’s mind to just ditch it.
But, I’ve been tasked by Sam’s grandmother aka my mother dba She Who Must Be Obeyed to take photos of the event. I think by the time everything is over, I may jump into their pool and sink to the bottom for a while.
Where was I? Oh yeah, graduation. I was trying to remember my own high school graduation and realized I couldn’t recall much of anything about it. Granted, it was 24 years ago (hush) and a lot has happened since then. I don’t even remember where it was held—was it in the gym? Was it at the community college? Here’s all I remember: my friend David was the salutatorian, and he sounded really nervous giving his speech. Also, I forgot to put in an earring before I left the house, and my friend Leah gave me one of hers to wear. It was an ankh, maybe about an inch long. After that year, guys were not allowed to wear big earrings. Sexist bastards.
I was valedictorian, which just goes to show how much of an impact that makes on your future success—i.e., not a lot. I don’t even remember anything I said in my speech. I just hope I didn’t stutter.
I probably would have remembered commencement if the mayor had turned into a man-eating snake demon and the building got destroyed, but apparently that only happens in Sunnydale.
What about you? Do you remember your high school graduation?