Help! I'm melting!

I let things go quiet on the blog this week, didn’t I? Not without reason; I’ve been writing. And (even though Michael Thomas Ford hates it when I do this) I’m happy to report that I’ve passed the 30,000-word mark on my thesis. Some of them are good words and even in the right order and may make it into the final draft.

No promises though.

So, I’ve been back in St. Louis for two months now, and have one month to go before I return to Vancouver for the final year of my MFA program. While I’ve been home I’ve been working on the aforementioned thesis, which is a novel (but then, if you read this blog with any regularity, you know that, yeah?), and I’ve been doing background reading and research which has involved a day spent working on a farm and touring the evil St. Louis-based GMO corporate citadel. My feelings on them are perhaps best captured by these tortoises.


This photo is actually a bit of a lie. I took it in 2012 when we were in New Orleans. It does, however, accurately convey the full effect of running in St. Louis this past week. Except now I have a full beard. Lies upon lies upon lies… why do you even believe a word I say?

The other thing I’ve been doing back home in St. Louis? Sweating. A lot. Summer in the Midwest is not for wimps. I, unfortunately, am a wimp. And I will go on and on and on about the heat when I’m in it. Dear gods on high, I hate the heat.

But if I’m going to be miserable, I want to at least be entertaining. Hence, this conversation I had with my friend and colleague (and wicked awesome writer) Sierra this week.

Me: It’s hotter than the hinges of hell in St. Louis and every time I go outside I think I’m going to turn into nothing but a puddle of sweat and a few bones.

Sierra: lol, your misery is funny
you shouldn’t make your misery so funny

Me: Hell, someone’s gotta get a laugh out of it!

Sierra: And it’s ME

Me: See? EVERYBODY’S A WINNER! Well, except for me, who’s wilting. BUT! If I stand outside for ten hours straight, I’ll probably sweat so much that I’ll finally hit my goal weight! I’ll also die, but glass half full!

Sierra: OMG, you are CRACKING ME UP

I’m so sorry it’s so hot. Wait, no I’m not. This is too entertaining


The memory cheats, but I think I’m recalling this correctly.

Back when I was in college at Mizzou in Columbia, Missouri (go Tigers), my friend Lynden and I took a drive from Columbia to Bonner Springs, Kansas, to go to a Renaissance Faire. I don’t remember much about the faire itself—costumes, high temperatures, giant turkey legs—but what I do remember is the drive back. It was nighttime, and the odometer on his VW Rabbit turned over 90,000 miles, and Lynden was quite pleased that his little car had gone that far. We pulled over on the side of the highway and Lynden got out and gave a cheer, fists to the sky, “Woo hoo!” and all that.

He was a very high-on-life kind of guy.

It was a clear night and we were in the middle of nowhere, and after he was done with his celebratory dance, I told him to look up.

Horizons from Randy Halverson on Vimeo.

Every once in a while, I need a reminder of how lucky I am to live here on this planet. A friend posted a link to this video today, and there was my reminder. (Watch it fullscreen in HD if you can.)