Help! I'm melting!

I let things go quiet on the blog this week, didn’t I? Not without reason; I’ve been writing. And (even though Michael Thomas Ford hates it when I do this) I’m happy to report that I’ve passed the 30,000-word mark on my thesis. Some of them are good words and even in the right order and may make it into the final draft.

No promises though.

So, I’ve been back in St. Louis for two months now, and have one month to go before I return to Vancouver for the final year of my MFA program. While I’ve been home I’ve been working on the aforementioned thesis, which is a novel (but then, if you read this blog with any regularity, you know that, yeah?), and I’ve been doing background reading and research which has involved a day spent working on a farm and touring the evil St. Louis-based GMO corporate citadel. My feelings on them are perhaps best captured by these tortoises.

This photo is actually a bit of a lie. I took it in 2012 when we were in New Orleans. It does, however, accurately convey the full effect of running in St. Louis this past week. Except now I have a full beard. Lies upon lies upon lies… why do you even believe a word I say?

The other thing I’ve been doing back home in St. Louis? Sweating. A lot. Summer in the Midwest is not for wimps. I, unfortunately, am a wimp. And I will go on and on and on about the heat when I’m in it. Dear gods on high, I hate the heat.

But if I’m going to be miserable, I want to at least be entertaining. Hence, this conversation I had with my friend and colleague (and wicked awesome writer) Sierra this week.

Me: It’s hotter than the hinges of hell in St. Louis and every time I go outside I think I’m going to turn into nothing but a puddle of sweat and a few bones.

Sierra: lol, your misery is funny
you shouldn’t make your misery so funny

Me: Hell, someone’s gotta get a laugh out of it!

Sierra: And it’s ME

Me: See? EVERYBODY’S A WINNER! Well, except for me, who’s wilting. BUT! If I stand outside for ten hours straight, I’ll probably sweat so much that I’ll finally hit my goal weight! I’ll also die, but glass half full!

Sierra: OMG, you are CRACKING ME UP

I’m so sorry it’s so hot. Wait, no I’m not. This is too entertaining