When I was a kid, I remember, my dad had a framed quote in his office—you’ve probably heard it—by Calvin Coolidge:
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
That’s stayed with me. I didn’t know it was from Calvin Coolidge—let’s face it, who remembers Calvin? He was popular at the time but is considered a below-average president now, but at least he’s not as poorly thought of as the man who succeeded him, Herbert Hoover. And thanks to the current occupant of the Oval Office, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about being considered the worst president in history.
I digress. Whenever I thought I lacked talent, genius, or knowledge—or all of the above—I knew I could count on being persistent. Stubborn is what my mom would probably say, sotto voce, and she’s not wrong there, either. But if my skills could not win the day, I could at least count on being too persistent to give up.
Lately, I’ve been rethinking that.
I have two finished manuscripts—well, as finished as anything gets—and I’m querying literary agents with them. To say it’s not going well would be, well, accurate.
Look, this is not me complaining that I shouldn’t be getting form rejections and that I’m entitled to something better. I’m so not. And anyway, I started this year with the goal of tallying fifty rejections by the end of it, so it’s not like I didn’t expect this, either.
But.
The reality of getting a relentless stream of rejections (well, as relentless as I am motivated at sending out queries in the first place), I can only assume, would discourage even the most persistent of souls. You spend years pouring a lot of effort and creativity and yourself into a story you think someone will want to read, and to have someone tap out somewhere between page 1 and page 20 is not encouraging.
Maybe there are some endeavors that persistence can’t win.
I guess this wouldn’t be weighing on my mind so much if not for two things. One, I haven’t been able to find my groove with a new writing project yet. I have no shortage of ideas, but I haven’t landed on the one that is really saying to me yes, here’s where you should spend your time.
And two, I’m getting old.
I mean, not old old, but old enough that I’ve been an AARP member for a while now and I’ve had cataract surgery on both eyes. (Both successful! I can see very nicely, thank you for asking.) But there are fewer days ahead than there are behind, and at a certain point, I have to ask myself, is all this effort worth it?
I will still keep writing, absolutely. Putting words down on paper (or screen, or what have you) is immensely satisfying. But will I keep trying to get published?
I don’t know.